There is no obstacle, the only thing I could possibly be struggling with in meditation is myself, there is nothing else and no one else in there. My experience in meditation is completely volitional. I go as far as I choose to go. The content of thought is irrelevant. Whether I think a beautiful thought or an ugly one, once it is gone, it is gone. It leaves no trace. It only remains in consciousness if I make the effort to remember it. Only then does it have any lingering psychological or emotional effect, otherwise once it’s gone, it’s gone as if it never happened.

 

That must be why Andrew Cohen has said that thought does not create Karma.

 

Thought is not real. If my attention is fixated solely on thought, then my attention is fixated solely on that which is unreal.

 

A knowing deeper than thought must shift in order for real change to occur. Insight alone won’t change anything.

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Today I experimented with the possibility of being able to do the practice while even letting go of the effort I am making to do the practice. It felt like meditating on autopilot. I was making the same effort but I was resisting the temptation to be concerned about the process of doing it, just making the effort because it needed to be done.

 

Through the sustained practice of resisting the temptation to respond to thought and feeling in meditation I am beginning to see clearly how much I usually respond almost exclusively to my thoughts and feelings and nearly not at all to the objective truth beyond what I might be thinking or feeling in any particular moment. It’s so easy to be profoundly unreal in this way.

 

***

 

 

                   Real Heart – Real Surrender

 

Two Insights after meditation:

 

1.     I think I know everything.

 

2.     I leave very little room inside myself for what I don’t know.